Suggest a name for a Scientology-like religion/self-help group.
Suggest a name for a Scientology-like religion/self-help group. And the name of the device they use to evaluate their members with.
This is of course related to my previous Lizard People post.
TRUE FOCUS and the device is an empathograph (or an emp-meter in the vernacular).
ReplyDeleteONANOLOGY, which uses the onanospectrograph to measure one's stored self-love energy.
ReplyDeleteIn the church of Realistacity, members are evaluated in Flex-Chambers beneath the cathedrals.
ReplyDeletePaper Souls: Priests administer a cootie catcher (origami fortune teller) to their members to divine what secrets the future holds.
ReplyDeleteWelcome friends to the Church of Exidor! I'd introduce you my family, but they think you're insane. Here, hold this [invisible device] so I can get a reading on your aura. Later, I'll introduce you to our Lord and Savior, The Juice! http://morkandmindy.wikia.com/wiki/Exidor
ReplyDeleteSAPIENTICS uses the Entheometer the better to gauge the "divinity potential" of the soul. Low counts indicate an infestation by diabolic Soul Fungi.
ReplyDeleteThe Church of Technics uses a Volney Psycho-Electrometer to measure whether your Zetan is lucid.
ReplyDeleteThe key to really good fake Scn terminology is to turn verbs into nouns and nouns into verbs, and then make multi-level acronyms. I mean, you might never reach the level of NOTs (NED for OTs, New Era Dianetics for Operating Thetans) but you can try!
ReplyDeleteDisciples of the True Source, or "Sourcers." They use Kirlian photography to determine if someone is connected to the True Source rather than the dangerous False Source of the Luciferian Sky God.
ReplyDeleteSquamatology or Squamatics (from the word squamate)
ReplyDeleteBifidmeter - a Y shaped implement, the pointed end is inserted in the mouth and the prongs of the fork are gripped in each hand, when so engaged a low hiss is emitted and it is this hiss that is analysed.
YOLO., they believe that every soul is unique and upon death, you feed the funeral pyre of the omnipotent Yama Kings. By understanding the finite nature of conscious your soul burns more pure and helps make sure the pyre never goes out, unlike other souls wanted by ignorance. They use a revolver, with TRUTH engraved on the barrel, loaded with one bullet to evaluate you.
ReplyDeleteI thought that was USBank Stadium before I realized it's from Bowfinger. Now I'm a little alarmed by the resemblance.
ReplyDeleteLarry Lade I thought the same thing when I first glanced at it.
ReplyDeleteAll great stuff. Thanks guys.
ReplyDeleteName: The Forge. Device: GNS (to test for 'incoherence')
ReplyDeleteInterested to know what you went with in the end ...
ReplyDeleteI've got to decide by tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteLet us know which you used!
ReplyDeleteTore Nielsen's first entry is what I'm going with. They're replacing world leaders with lizard people.
ReplyDeleteRight! They use the Empathograph to make sure you don't have any empathy!
ReplyDeleteYay!
ReplyDelete